Witch House Contest!
Jun 102011
 
Jeremiah C. reviews "Knight Online", a fantasy MMORPG offering from GamersFirst.

Moradon City, from GamersFirst's "Knights Online"

Where do I start with this thing?

Knights Online is a 3D fantasy MMORPG set in the middle ages.  The back story is long and rambling, and if there were any central characters that didn’t classify as sentient forces of nature, it might have been an interesting read.The graphics engine is competent, though not astonishing, and it’s the same one used in about a half dozen of GamersFirst offerings, all downloadable from the same web site.

You start off having to find the server that works best and has the fewest crowding of random spam – ah, I mean players. You have to choose your faction, right at the beginning. You must choose between Dated Graphics Floaty Red Crystal Bighead Faction, or Human-y Townlamp Slightly Okay Faction. And if you want to change factions, or even create a character in the other faction, you must delete ALL characters in the original faction.

The game has the four boring stereotypical hey-we’re-crappier-than-D&D classes, Warriors, Magicians, Priests, and the Slightly-More-Squishy-Than-Warriors-But-Stabbier Rogues. The Townlamp Faction has three “races”, one Big Hulking All-Warrior-Grunt-Grunt-Conan Barbarians, Male We’re-Actually-Humans and Female We’re-Actually-Humans. Well, that’s an exciting selection.Big musclehead warriors, or boring humans.

Only the Crystally Bighead Faction, for some reason, allows female characters to be spellcasters, so you’re left with Big Muscleheads, Big Megabrains, or More Boring Humans.

Once you are in the game, there are no tutorials, and no real direction – just a note at the corner of your screen that says “By the way, if you could find this lost kid that we forced you to try to find, despite not telling you where the hell she actually is, or giving you any real clue how to find anything in the game..?” And the tens of thousands of merchant stalls. I’m serious. It is like walking into a farmer’s market, if every farmer from the Western hemisphere decided they were going to dude out in their best suit of armor and stand around with a big sign over their head saying “BUY MY THINGS, EVEN IF I NEVER TELL YOU WHAT THEY ARE!” Never mind that armor would rarely if ever have been worn in a medieval marketplace.

It suffices to say, without any real clue where to go or what to do, I decided to check out that other faction.

But you can’t delete characters without a premium account.

And you can’t log in to any of the other 25 servers without a premium account.

It’s important for a game to put its best foot forward when trying to attract new players, especially for an MMO. “Knights Online” does not satisfy.

Links

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About the Author:Jeremiah C is a player of video games and a traveler of virtual worlds with thirty years of experience. His reviews cover his experiences not only with Massively Multiplayer Online games,but single-player games as well. Visit his blog site,http://gametraveller.blogspot.com/. This review reprinted with permission.  Game Traveller can be heard each week in its special segment in Vagabond Carter’s STARK REALITY.

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  One Response to “The Game Traveller Reviews “Knights Online””

Comments (1)
  1.  

    Take a close look at the screenshot, Jeremiah – are those capes, or shower curtains? The horses look like hotel suite buffet tables with heads.

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