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A Random
SCIFI.radio story

Earth becomes sentient and begins eating other planets who perceive us only as a food even though they all do bad impressions of William Shatner who tend to stutter under pressure when confronted by a bunch of kids playing disco music on boom boxes but a priest tells them about the God and they are turned into weird rocks that all look suspiciously like either Elvis or Madonna, but nobody can agree on which one it is.
The End.