Feb 102012

ITV Studios America and HDFILMS are resurrecting Space:1999 – but adding a century.  Because, you know, 1999 isn’t the future anymore.

by Gene Turnbow, Station Manager

Space 2099

‘Man’s giant leap was just a stumble in the dark’, this Space 2099 poster proclaims. Frankly, we think Neal Armstrong got it right the first time.

It was cute – it wasn’t Star Trek, but it was all we had, so we watched it. Space:1999, the British sci-fi series by Gerry & Sylvia Anderson (Supercar, Captain Scarlet, Thunderbirds), ran for only two seasons and aired between 1975 and 1977.  It was done on a television budget, but it was the most expensive show ever done for TV up to that time. ITV Studios America and HDFILMS want to reboot the show.

Now, I know there are a lot of Space:1999 fans out there. Or there were. Remembering that as this TV show was going out, the whole world was going nuts for Star Wars and promptly forgot all about what they’d just been watching. I’m sorry about what happened to the TV show, I truly am.  But sometimes a show is canceled for a reason.

On Space:1999, 321 crewmembers living in a moon base are suddenly thrust into space due to a nuclear explosion which drives the moon away from Earth at breakneck speeds.  And I’m not exaggerating here. To push the moon out of Earth orbit and out of the Solar System would have required so much explosive force that the first thing that would have happened would have been the utter liquification of the entire natural satellite we’ve come to know and love. And depend on, you know, for the tides and all that.

If you can get past the liquification problem, the next issue is that this happened while people were going about their business on the moon base.  These people went from about 0.13 G to several hundred times the force of Earth-normal gravity in a microsecond. This is equivalent to dropping your glass iPhone on a concrete floor from six feet up. You can imagine what this should have done to the skeletons of the moon base residents. A sudden force of that intensity should have reduced the entire population of the moon base to a thin layer of strawberry slime – yet somehow, Barbara Baine simply ended up lying on her back and passing out, and her underwire bra didn’t even deform.

That’s some bra.

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