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SCIFI.radio story

Earth is slated for destruction by aliens who want to build an intergalactic bypass who perceive us only as a food even though they all do bad impressions of William Shatner who derive their sustainance by a bunch of kids playing disco music on boom boxes but one cunning young man somehow convinces them that people are okay and they are turned into weird rocks that all look suspiciously like either Elvis or Madonna, but nobody can agree on which one it is.
The End.