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SCIFI.radio story

Earth becomes the focal point of a cosmic prophecy foretelling the end of days for anybody who speaks Latin who understand us all too well even though they are radioactive and might be overpowered by a crowd of people with pitchforks and torches but a priest tells them about the God and they are turned into weird rocks that all look suspiciously like either Elvis or Madonna, but nobody can agree on which one it is.
The End.