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SCIFI.radio story

Earth falls under the spell of a cosmic enchantment, casting the world into sentient vats of melted caramel who do not understand us even though they can all do credible singing impressions of Ethel Merman and cannot be destroyed by a slap to the side of the head with a large fish , but scientists create a new weapon which does not work but they die from catching the common cold.
The End.