ascension_3by Alicia Glass, contributing writer

The Spoilers, they never end! Seriously: Watch before reading!

Welcome to the epic conclusion of the three-part SyFy miniseries, Ascension! And the next party is already underway, so we best go catch up with the crew!

Oh, you thought I was kidding! Nope. The crew of the ship Ascension, well the upper-deckers anyway, are hard at work partying themselves silly at a celebration they call “Ostara,” where the computer announces the Birth List (the names of couples who will be allowed to have babies) for that year. Balance has to be maintained on the ship: 600 people, no more and no less. So when people die, like poor Lorelei for example, whom everyone seems to have forgotten, the ship’s computer selects genetically compatible couples to breed. Ostara is an ancient pagan festival and fertility rite, somewhat similar to Easter, so it was an apt name choice.

One of the couples chosen is Duke and Emily Vanderhaus. Duke is head of Safety Patrolmen and Emily kind of was/is having an affair with the ship’s second-in-command, or XO, Aaron Gault. He’s obviously is not happy for her, hearing the news. But wait! Christa, the gifted-or-cursed tween, is following Lorelei’s ghost to the party, where she gets treated to a grand showing of an illicit video of the Captain having sex with Lorelei herself! Her sonic tormented scream is just the beginning of the interesting times that await the crew and their caretakers.

The blowback from the shown video leads the Council to question the Captain’s fitness for his post. Meanwhile, the TC group boss Catherine Warren is about to oust Harris from Ascension for his lost objectivity/obesession. The Captain and his wife take matters into their own hands in what is, once again, a delicious turnaround, in a very House of Cards revenge manner. The checks and balances lady, Krueger, who went to free the held-captive stockyard boss Stokes, finds herself captured, and on the run from takeover boss Warren’s goon squad!

Meanwhile, Christa had been taken to get an MRI and while in the chair, she gets yet another visit from a Twin Peaks version of Lorelei’s ghost, wanting to lead her somewhere important. Duke has gone to confront the XO in the place where Lorelei died, the fake beach, and that’s where Christa finds them, in angry fisticuffs. And then, as everything is happening all at once – Warren and her men are trying to get Dr. Enzmann out, Stokes is confronting Sam over the memorial of those who died on the ship, and Duke is actually trying to kill the XO – there is a buildup, a charge, and one special little girl makes a decision to end the madness right then and there! Christa, like Carrie, in her anger and her fear, causes an EMP explosion that damages not only the entire Ascension, but the surrounding facility that houses it as well!

So now, everyone has to band together to save what’s left of the Ascension and her people. The XO Gault and safety leader Duke find themselves purse-mouthed but working together; Warren and her men are following Dr. Enzmann’s lead (for now) because no one else knows Ascension as well as he does; and Sam is trying to arrange a way for her and Stokes to disappear to another country entirely. The ship itself is damaged to hell and gone, picking up transmissions from real Earth because the jammers are damaged; the inside man, Price, manages to take care of that, but not before someone else with half a brain at least starts asking odd questions.

The air on the ship is turning toxic and the outside caretakers can’t do anything. The crew of the Ascension have to save themselves. Christa goes to the fake beach to speak to Lorelei’s ghost and ends up talking to Enzmann’s inside man, who says he wants nothing more than to save her from any harm in this world. Especially from Warren’s man, Medici, who was sent in through the vents to go get Christa by whatever means necessary and remove her from the ship. We can’t have that! Robert Price (the inside man) is far too easily taken out by Medici, what can Christa do now?

The Captain and XO come up with a Hail-Mary plan to de-toxify the air, so most of the ship is taken care of, at least from immediate death. The XO Gault gets his own visit from Lorelei’s ghost, leading him to go save Christa from her bad-guy captor. As they fight, dear Christa, the tiny messiah, builds up her apocalyptic charge and absolutely BAMFs both the XO and his enemy somewhere else entirely! Where, we ask? Well, the place has two suns and a very alien landscape, yet the XO is breathing and does manage to gain his feet as the credits are preparing to roll. Warren’s goon who got zapped along with the XO is nowhere to be seen. Warren got her just desserts, we saw just how ruthless Enzmann can be, and we lament both the final betrayal of Sam and the what-do-I-do-now look of Stokes as we leave them all. We even did, finally, find out who killed Lorelei.

And for my final thoughts, I have one overwhelming all the rest: Ascension deserves to be made into a regular SyFy series. Hell, I’d even be satisfied with a sequel or prequel miniseries to it, how cool would that be! The end answered many questions, but in any good sci-fi drama sense, raised twice as many questions as it answered in the finale. Where did the XO go? Was it actually Proxima? Is Christa a specially-bred shortcut? Will Enzmann continue the great experiment, or send it into some unfathomable Stage Two? We want to know! Join me in petitioning SyFy to give us more Ascension, beyond these fabulously epic three nights! What did you think of SyFy’s latest magnum opus? Sound off in the comments!