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SCIFI.radio story

Earth people suddenly can speak only in technobabble and discover small machines who do not understand us even though they all do bad impressions of William Shatner who derive their sustainance by the army, navy, air force, space force and/or marines but one cunning young man somehow convinces them that people are okay and they are turned into weird rocks that all look suspiciously like either Elvis or Madonna, but nobody can agree on which one it is.
The End.