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A Random
SCIFI.radio story

Earth becomes sentient and begins eating other planets who want to plug us into a power grid and use us as living batteries even though they all do bad impressions of William Shatner and might be overpowered by a slap to the side of the head with a large fish , but scientists create a new weapon which turns them into weird rocks.
The End.
but they die from catching the common cold.
The End.